It was one of those days....

Did you ever have one of those days?

I had one yesterday.

Things were just not clicking in my brain the way they should.

At all...

I had a few on-line conversations yesterday that suddenly took a turn that did not make sense to me, but oh well, I went with it...

And a little while later I realized, in an enlightening flash (I should coin that), that the conversation did not take such a left turn - I just thought it did.  And my response to it is what really took the left turn....

And having done that more than once yesterday, I decided I must be over-tired from trying to do too many things at once...baking, making candy, watching the Browns lose, talking....

I finally realized I just needed to call it a night.

So I sat down with a cup of rum-laced tea and a couple of books.

I usually read mysteries.  I also like laugh out loud humor, especially after a long left turn kind of day.

I had picked up Janet Evanovich's latest book from the library the other day and was about a third of the way through it.  All of her Plum novels are fast reads for me - usually one sitting.  I cannot get enough of Ranger.  I speed read through all the laugh out loud LuLu/Stephanie antics (laughing out loud at times) just to get to the Ranger appearances.  He is so hot.  I could use a Ranger in my life.

But I digress...

After I finished with Ranger, I picked up my Kindle version of Indigo Roth's "Testament: Funny Badgers."

The first thing I noticed was that all the paragraphs are numbered.  WTF?   Maybe it is a kindle version snafu.  This looks annoyingly familiar.  I actually made it all the way through the first book of the Testament before the enlightening flash hit me. 

Yeah, it was still one of those days.

I am not a big fan of sci-fi or fairy tales.  And honestly, if I did not have a blogger connection to the author, I probably would have put the book down and not picked it back up - not because it is not well-written- it is. It just did not seem like my cup of tea. Or coffee. I drink more coffee than tea.  Not that that matters to anyone.

But I decided I should give Indigo's creation  more of a chance. 

And it was a good decision - probably the best decision I made yesterday.

1Roth kept me laughing.  What do a dating agency, clogged drain, bad back, gps, and fast food restaurant chain have in common?  They all found a part in the early chapters of 1Roth.

Too bad I need to run some errands today; otherwise I could just sit on the couch with my coffee and continue reading.  

But I will be back and will share more about this great read in a future post.



In the meantime, you should check it out for yourself.

The Kindle version is actually free on Amazon for a couple more days. Here is the link:

'Tis the Season.

Happy Holidays.

I just needed to say that.

It makes me feel so politically correct.

And for the record, I do not see anything wrong with wishing all of my friends Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.

Happy Holidays covers the season; all of it - without offending. After all, I do have some Jewish friends and some atheist friends and some non-Christian friends who are celebrating  holidays other than Christmas at this time of year.
  
Happy to you! All of you!

Now on Christmas Day, you will hear me say Merry Christmas  - because after all, it is Christmas  - Christ's birthday - or the day we choose to celebrate his birthday. Jesus was a good person, and a good teacher, in my opinion.  I like the things he taught - do unto others and all that. His birthday is certainly worth celebrating. And since he is no longer here on earth to receive birthday presents, let's celebrate by giving each other presents and spending time together.  I am good with that.  You can all celebrate my birthday when I am dead and gone.  Give each other presents.  It would make me happy.  And cake - chocolate cake:)

If you believe Jesus was more, you are entitled to your opinion - and your celebration of that belief.  

But  for the record, I do not believe that you have to believe Jesus Christ  is God or the son of God to celebrate his birthday.  Just as we celebrate Martin Luther King's birthday.  I do not think anyone believes MLK is a god, but his birthday is certainly worth celebrating.  In my opinion, they could step up that celebration a bit and give us all a paid holiday....

Personally, I do not believe Jesus was or is  the son of the one true God.  I am not sure I believe in the concept of one true God.  I believe there are gods that each of us worship in our own way.  If they help us through life, more power to us  - and them.

I also do not believe that Jesus was immaculately conceived. That is just a little too far-fetched for my logical mind.  I have a feeling Joseph the carpenter probably felt the same way. In fact, I bet he was pretty offended that someone else was taking credit for his son.  But then again, maybe not.  It did get him off the hook for Mary's pre-marital pregnancy. Lucky for him DNA technology was still far off in the future.  

You ran out of what????

Yesterday, I WALKED the 5k Christmas Story Run.

I realize now that I should have tried to actually RUN  a little more, instead of at the very end to make it look good as I crossed the finish line.

Because, if I had RAN just a little more and actually passed up a couple more people, I would have not had to wait around another hour in the freezing cold to get the medal I just earned.

It's a major award and I earned it....

And as I crossed the finish line a volunteer was supposed to hand me one....

I watched as the runner in front of me got his....

And heard the volunteer tell me...wait for it...

"We're out of medals."

Say what????

You are out of medals????  I walked for that medal.  I paid for that medal - this run was not cheap!!!  

Ok, so maybe that is not totally fair.  Come to find out, they just ran out of medals at the 5k finish line.

I could go to the 10k finish line and get my medal. Or I could wait a few minutes and they would send some from the 10k finish to the 5k finish. My choice.

Ok, I could wait a few minutes.  I was still warm from walking/running (a little).

Well the few minutes turned into over an hour - I kid you not.  The wait was longer than it took me, or any one else for that matter, to run/walk 5k.  By that time, I was freezing - as were the nearly 100 hundred other runners/walkers who finished the 5k behind me (I wasn't last as I had feared all week- yay me!).

It was not a pleasant wait.  They kept telling us that the medals would be sent to different locations near the finish...wait right here, no wait over there, no we will bring them here.....

And then, when the box of medals finally arrived, it was handed to the unnamed  (because I do not know it) person  (I will not say gentleman, because he is not)  in charge.  Mr. Non-Gentleman grabbed the box and literally plowed (like a football linebacker) through the crowd of waiting finishers, actually knocking into me (and a few others) almost dropping me/us to the ground.  He ran right through us and kept going 100 yards to the food tent where we had been told the medals would definitely not be sent (after we had been told they would be there and then not and then yes and then...).

[Sigh]

There were other snafus along the way that kind of irked a few of us....conflicting packet pickup instructions, and changing parking and busing info.  The event is the first annual, so the planning should only get better, right?  I am not sure I will make the trip back next year to find out.  It was pretty expensive to begin with and I am not sure I trust them to plan better enough next year to make it worth it.  Standing in the cold for an hour was the last straw.  Granted, we could have waited in the over-warm, overcrowded gift shop but every few minutes we were told the medals were on the way.  I just did not realize that it would take the same amount of time to go 3 miles by car that it took me on foot. My bad.


But all in all it was a fun walk through downtown Cleveland.
And there were posters along the way with trivia about the movie.
And there was plenty to do downtown had I chosen to stick around,  but a hot bath seemed to be calling...

And best of all, I had a personal best time: 55:56.7 
OK, so maybe it is not that great, but it was my first official walk,and I can only get better, right?

And my daughter and her friend, who actually ran fast enough to not have to worry about getting get a medal before they ran out, also had personal bests....under 35 minutes.

Yay us!

So I may not do the Christmas Story Run next year, but I have resolved to keep walking and to register to walk in at least one other run this spring.

Who knows, next time I may even RUN a little more than the last 10 yards:)

Say what????

True story...

I am sure you have seen lists of translations gone wrong....

I have one for you...

No (company) names or (translation) vendor names mentioned (to protect the guilty)...

Source Phrase: "Breathe in and hold your breath."

Translation (according to some very trustworthy sources):  "Breathe in and drop your pants."

I kid you not.

So maybe it is not as bad as this one, but still....

Perhaps...

Perhaps he says too much....

But if it's true, who cares, right?

But is it true? Is any of it true?  Is any of what true?

I digress, obviously.

The intent of this post is to help you with your Christmas shopping.

Really.

We all have at least one person on our list who has everything, including a warped sense of humor.

This is the gift for them.

And for yourself, because we all need some laughter in our lives.  And believe me, you will laugh.

If you are anywhere near my age (your guess is as good as mine), you may want  this book to be your bathroom reader - that way when you laugh so hard that you have to pee or poo, there is less chance of making a mess.

What's to laugh about?  

• Bionic fingers 
• Self-combusting Tiffany lamps
• Rubber spiders 
• Ventriloquist dolls
• Vindictive mothers throwing women down stairs
• And brain nuggets - those little snippets of info you might be better off not knowing.

In this, his second book, Rodney Lacroix takes us along for the ride as he recounts some of his life's biggest  misadventures.  The man can turn any ordinary life event into an extraordinary fiasco. He finds himself in a mess and lies his way into it deeper. Where does he come up with this shit?

Being a little (again, just guessing here) older than Rodney, I can almost relate to some of the stories from his early years.  The 70s were a much simpler time.

But Rodney does not grow up in the 70s...he does not grow up at all.
He continues to create havoc at work and at home.  And he brings us along for the ride - with his coworkers and family.  And if you are wondering how much shit he can dish out before it starts getting flung back at him....he shares that as well.

This book of messing with people is worth a read or two. Yes, I am on my second time through.  There is so much good stuff in here, I know I missed some the first time through.  I am having trouble putting it down long enough to share my thoughts with you.

But do not take my word for it.... follow the links to Amazon or Barnes and Noble and pick up your own copy. And then, if you can stop laughing long enough, let me know what you think. 

• Amazon.com - Paperback
  
• Amazon.com - Kindle
  
• Barnes and Noble - Paperback
  
• RCG Publishing - all formats INCLUDING AUTOGRAPHED COPIES! 

And, if after that read, you want more of Rodney, check out his first book: "Things Go Wrong for Me"

  And for a daily dose of Rodney's Mental Poo,  follow his blog.

Enjoy!

No shopping for me yesterday...

Yesterday was Black Friday.

Just another day to me...

I have never wanted or needed anything bad enough to fight the black friday crowds for it.  I am thankful for that; I have enough addictions without that one on my list.

I understand that to some it is an adventure.  Have at it.  Without me.

My oldest son loves a good bargain.   He looks forward to Black Friday.  He does most of his shopping on line. But Thursday evening, after Thanksgiving dinner, he decided to do a little pre-black Friday in-store shopping.

First stop  - Walmart.  He was not really looking for bargains here.  He was getting some canned chicken and rice for my grand puppy who was sick.  Guy has a some stomach issues and the vet recommended the canned chicken/rice combo to help him through the rough times.  So thank you Walmart for being open on Thanksgiving:)  

While there, he saw several people waiting in line to buy ammo. Seriously, black friday deals on ammo - at Walmart????  I only hope they had enough in stock for everyone....Would not want a riot to break out in Walmart because there is not enough ammo to go around....

Next stop - a little later in the evening, Best Buy.  Larry has been shopping for  a treadmill for awhile.  He waited outside in the cold for 45 minutes - not too bad.  And he actually got a treadmill he wanted at a bargain price....go Larry.  And he did not stampede through the door knocking down employees on the way in.  I taught him better than that:)

I hope those of you who braved the stores for black Friday deals had fun and/or found a few bargains that made it all worth it....

I love my Facebook friends...

Today, I want to thank FaceBook...

• For making it possible for me to reconnect and stay connected with so many friends from my past - from grade school, from high school, those I moved away from after my divorce, from previous employments.  I am so thankful to have all (well most) of my FB friends in my life.

• And for allowing me to play Candy Crush with my friends. I only hope I can beat level 350 sometime in this life time....