I have been working long hours in a position I am totally not cut out for...
I have always considered my self a fast learner, but learning how to analyze what is wrong with what we have been doing for the past few years and figuring out how to fix it is not my strong point....
They pay people good money to figure out that shit...and supposedly keep us on track...
And if those people have failed at it, I am pretty sure I am not going to be much more help.
However, a few of us came to a conclusion within a few minutes that we also came to after 4 hours of analysis following the expert approach - so maybe I/we are ok at it.
But noone really wants to hear what I think.
I have been talked over and talked down to more in the last two weeks than in my entire career.
About 300 people in our location have been put into roles that our totally new to us and that we were not hired to do.
Every week we are (subjectively) rated by our team leads as red/yellow/green. Green means you are ok; yellow indicates reason for concern, and red puts you out the door. You can imagine the stress associated with that.
Trust in management is on a steep decline.
Frustration is on a steep incline.
Good people are finding the door - on their own or with a security escort.
I find myself working even longer hours than the mandated 10 per day because some of the work for the job I was doing prior to this fiasco still has to be done. And doing that work helps me feel ok about myself.
I know I need to get my resume in order. I have been trying to do that. But doing that just has me thinking about all the reasons I need to be doing that....
And I get angry and frustrated all over again....
I hoped writing about it would help settle me down so I can get the things done that I need to do this weekend:
- Get several release packages structured and submitted for review (my real job).
- Prepare a presentation for early Monday morning showing gaps in one of the company's many screwed up current processes and my proposals for filling those gaps (WTF????). Not gonna lie - I am concerned that this may put me in the red....
- Update resume and LinkedIn profile.
- Go for a couple of long walks.
I think I will start with one of the long walks.