April's Fool

My gullibility  has no bounds...

Seriously. ..

Once bitten, twice shy?  Not this girl.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me  twice, shame on me?   Fool me ten times - who's counting?

Tell me you want me - I believe.  Ooops, you were just kidding???

Tell the world how well you are doing; tell me it is not at someone else's expense; tell me you have changed your ways - I  believe.  Ooops, it doesn't  count because you think it is owed to you????

Tell me the job was created for me; tell me I am the most qualified - I believe. Ooops, the qualifications have changed???

Tell me there is a place for me in your heart, in your life, in your world - I believe.  Ooops, that place was temporary???

I believed because I wanted to believe.

I am the fool of fools.

Post pics of great whites in the sea near Belize - I am not sure I  believe. 

I do not want to believe.  I was swimming in those waters not too long ago - I call photo shopped.

Yes!  Look at me not believing...

I am through believing.

Ha!  Your love has bounds...

Ha! Your gains are ill-gotten...

Ha!  I do not want your job...

Ha! I will not be your fool.

Starting tomorrow.

Today may prove a little difficult.

Where is the funny?

When I posted yesterday about the day I  was having, I realized that it had been almost a month since my last post. 

It has not been a month since I last wrote a post - just a month since I actually posted. 

My written, unposted, posts have a lot of whiny content about how am I am feeling about some people and friendships and such in my life.  

Missing is the humorous take on it all. 

 I am still having trouble finding the humor in all of it - and since this is intended to be a light-hearted blog, they will remain unposted....

...for the time being, anyway...

It's Been a Day...

It has been one of those days...

I left the apartment this morning with a heavy jacket on because it was not the warm 63 it was supposed to be yesterday and I assumed today would not be much different...

...until I walked outside and felt that warm spring air.  I checked  the weather on my phone, saw that it was 43 (already) so I went back for a lighter jacket.

It was not until I was half way to work that I heard the weather report and realized that 43 was the high for the day and there was snow in the forecast...

Damn!!!

About that time, I also realized that I left my badge in the pocket of my heavier coat...

Double damn!!!!

And then, as I stepped out of my car at work, I looked down to see that I was wearing brown shoes.  My pants were black; my top had red, grey, and black - not a spot of brown anywhere, except for the shoes.

Fuck!!!

Yeah...


Things did not get much better after that.

It was probably not the best time  to participate in a roundtable discussion about how things are going.

But they invited me.  And they asked. And I was brutally honest.

Because I was having a bad day and this was at least the third time they asked and got the same responses and acted surprised.

After lunch with a friend and a long walk at the Nat and leftover munchies with a glass of wine....it'll be alright.

How was your day?

What is not to like?

In December, I visited my son in Belize.  It was an awesome time.  I am ready to go back as soon as he will have me.

But to be fair, and as blogged at the Huffington Post,  life is not always awesome when you chose to visit/live on an tropical island.

9 Definitive Reasons Why You Should NOT Move to the Caribbean


My son read the above post and confirmed that he does see the positive in most of those 9 reasons and that island life is for him - at least for a few years.

Which is good for me, because I do intend to visit at least a couple more times while he is there.

What's not to like?

Well, I encountered a few things that took a little getting use to...

• The internet was on island time while I was there.  Tourist traffic was high, which slowed Google and Facebook to a crawl.

• The roads - or lack thereof, were a challenge for me.    I had to hold tight to my tatas every time we rode the golf cart to San Pedro town.  They were bouncing everywhere.  The rainy season had taken its toll on the unpaved portion of the road; the paved portions were few and far between.  On a night trip to the casino at Captain Morgan's, I got to hold my tatas with on hand and the flashlight we used as a headlight with the other.  And then there was the time that Guy flew right out of the golf cart as we drove through town traffic.  Speed bumps on the paved portion of the roads are lengths of thick rope across the road - really, really thick rope.
  
  To be fair, the road to town has been completed since I visited.  And my son bought a better golf cart than the one he was renting when I was there.  The improved version sports good shocks, working headlights,  and  a lock box to store valuables. What valuables would you need to store in a golf cart, you ask?  Well, that brings me to the next challenge of island life.

• There are very few convenience stores outside of down town.    There are plenty of bars and restaurants.  But if you need or want  milk, bread, meds, toiletries,household/cleaning items, etc., you need to make the trip to town.  And most likely, not to just one store in town.  There is a store or two for this and one for that, and...you get the picture.  If you plan to get more things than you can comfortably carry around all day as you go from store to store, it is best to have somewhere to  put them.  If you think you can leave your heavy bags  sitting in your open golf cart for just a minute while you hop in the pharmacy, well, consider them a donation to someone's charitable cause.
  
• The service industry is lacking in service... or at least the kind of service one gets use to in the states. Belizeans just do not recognize why you want everyone's meal served at the same time and as ordered.  And if they goof your order, why shouldn't they expect you to pay for the second, corrected (or not) order?  How can it be their fault that they did not understand what you wanted - twice?
  The maids broke the washer in my son's condo  the day my daughter and son-in-law arrived for a two-week visit.   A week later and no estimated service date. What's the big deal?   My daughter packed light because there was a washer in the apartment. There is not a public laundromat anywhere near them. That's the big deal.  Or not.  At least it is warm on the island; bathing suits and cover ups are hand washable.
  
• The sun sets early - everyday.  WTF?    I came for the sun - not expecting it to set by 5:30 PM. That threw me for a loop.  But sunset  skies are beautiful and the pool areas stay lit all hours and island nightlife is awesome. So I adjusted.

I know I could live the beach life.  I am pretty sure I could handle island life - at least for extended stays.

What do you think?

It's Lent?

So what am I giving up for Lent?

Not much...actually nothing.

I am so not religious that I refuse to believe giving up something for 40 days because a church tells me to is doing anyone any good.

I thought about playing along...

I thought about giving up sex - but giving up something you do not get anyway probably does not count...

I thought about giving up chocolate, but that would just make me more of a bitch than I already am.  That would not be a good thing - for anyone.

I thought about giving up coffee, but ditto.

I thought about giving up meat once a week and declaring Fridays Sushi Night - anyone in? Or we could change it up and have cheese fondue or shrimp and pierogis, or...

What???

Ok, so maybe substituting something you love with something you love more is not the intent....

I could give up my New Year's resolutions.









I actually considered doing something positive everyday during Lent instead of giving something up.  But then I realized that I feel about Lent like I feel about holidays.

I do not need a church designated batch of days or a declared national holiday to try to be a better person. I can do that any damn time I want - 365 days a year.

That is my cop-out and I am sticking to it.

What are you doing in your life in the spirit of Lent?

Had one of these today....

That moment when you need to explain the process to the person who wrote the process and that person is the person who did not hire you for the role in the process that you are explaining  - because you are not qualified ....

Yeah...

I did not do it wrong;  I am not confused - you are.

It's Saturday and I "needed" to be in the office...

That moment made it worth it...

Let the spoiling begin...

I am very excited to share the news....


COMING SOON...BABY BALLARD!

YES!!!!

My favorite daughter and son-in-law are expecting my first grandbaby in late July.

Yay...

That makes me GRANDMA IN TRAINING...


Let the spoiling begin....



There are cute things to buy...
           WARNING: He will be a Cleveland Browns' fan..

And a shower to plan....
            NO GAMES, damn...who made that rule?

And a name to decide on...


I do get some say in the name, right?


No?

Well, at least consider a short (3- or 4-letter) name, because as this article explains...


Shorter First Names Make More Money

If it is posted on the Internet, it must be true, right?


Hugs to my future grandbaby!  

Thanks for sharing my joy!