Back to reality...

I have been home from my Belizean vacation for almost three weeks now.

It seems like an eternity.

Life is so relaxing on a tropical island.

I came back to:

Look at me Grandma Mary

My Beautiful Grandbaby - Yes, he was the deciding factor for my return. (Ok, and I have a job I kind of need.) If I stayed on the island I know my kids would visit often, but I am not sure I could handle not seeing that grandbaby in person at least once or twice a week.  He is so cute. And he loves his grandma.

Training Grounds

The Jingle Bell Run- I registered to walk this run in November; I trained for it in Belize by walking to town and around the island and doing laps in the resort pool. It was tough, I tell you.  But it was worth it.  I walked the 5k in 48:51.  A record for me (if I forget about the flat course  I did last May in 47:13).  This course had the most inclines of any I have walked so far - or at least it seemed that way.  






A Wonderful Christmas with Family - I did not start holiday shopping until I returned to the states; so I power shopped, mostly online, for a few things. I held myself back this year, because I am on a good plan to be debt free in 2016 and did not want to undo that.  Besides, my kids do not need presents from me to know I love them.  I came back from that tropical island to be with them - that should be present enough, right?   I do love Christmas time - not for religious reasons. I love family gatherings and giving and sharing the family love. 

Good Friends - I have a few good friends that I cherish so much and would miss terribly if I decided to stay on that tropical island.  Friends I walk with, play with, dine with, share good times with...


A Madhouse at the Office - Of course there are some reasons I wish I could stay forever on a tropical island.  Corporate America is one of them.  Ugh. I love what I do for a living and the people I do it for.  The authors and teammates that I  release documents for are pretty awesome for the most part.  But the bullshit that falls from above is not  pretty.  Enough said.


Cranky Parents -  Apparently I have done something to piss my parents off to the point of them not wanting to see me for awhile  - even through the holidays.  Hopefully they will get over whatever it is soon.   I apologized for what I thought I did. I know they are older and forgetful, so maybe they forgot that I apologized.  Or, maybe they really do not like who I am. I am who I am. Enough said about that, too!

Life is short - and so am I.

Be happy!

Lessons Learned...in Belize...

I learned a couple of things over the last couple of days....

Some of the Grand Caribe Pool Bar Guys
"Another damn picture for the tourists???"

The Grand Caribe pool bar crew are the best around.  They took good care of all my pool bar needs - and were very understanding of my random loss of mathematical skills.  Resort bar/restaurant prices are listed in $USD. They accept payment in $USD or $BZ. Change is almost always given in $BZ.  Figuring out the $BZ cost, or the $BZ tip - because after a day or two you have lots of $BZ money you got in change that you want to use up  - can be fun. Or not.  Yesterday morning, right before morning happy hour ended, I ordered a $7USD drink to go , handed the bartender  $10 BZ, and walked away thinking I gave an ok tip. Ooops.  He did did not bother to correct me until I finished the drink and was returning the pool bar glassware.  Which may or may not  have been a good plan, because after the drink I lost all currency transfer capabilities.

Lesson #1: I should figure out the amount of tip I want to leave in both currencies (just in case  get surprised in the change department) before I consume the drink(s).

In case you missed it, there were drinks.  I went back to the pool bar for afternoon happy hour - because, why not? I am on vacation on an island and drinks are half price in the hot afternoon sun by the pool.  I had intended to have just one LI because I did not want to feel like I had after two earlier in the week.  I do want to enjoy my evenings.  Well, there were a couple of young girls at the bar waiting for their husband/boyfriend to return from a fishing charter.  We started talking and somehow they convinced me that I should try a panty ripper, because, as they explained, we were in swimsuits so there were no panties to rip, so all was safe.  I had just about finished my LI and happy hour would be over in 4 minutes, so I had to decide quick. With a little encouragement from the pool bar boys, I added a happy hour panty ripper to my tab.  Even tho there were no panties to rip, I felt those two drinks well into the night. 

Lesson #2:  Just because the second drink is not a LI....you know the rest.

This is the drink that started it...

This pretty lil thing can be quite dangerous.

By the way, I had a (one) Belikin with my pool bar lunch today.  It is almost 9:00 PM and I am still awake and feeling good enough to walk out to the dock to look for sting rays and barracudas.  Which brings me to...

Lesson #3:  It may be terribly buggy out at night, but nighttime is fun time and I should have been covering myself in bug spray, taking a couple of preventative benadryl,  and walking out toward the dock in the late evenings to see what is happening out there. (Update: Not a lot going on. I was the only human out there.  I did see a few stingrays jumping around and a barracuda that I hope was sleeping, because, otherwise......)

But let's back up a few hours.   I was determined to visit Caye Caulker this trip. Since today  was my last full day here, it was now or not till next year.  So, I took the early morning Coastal Express to town and the Belize Water Taxi  to Caye Caulker.The taxi goes to Caye Caulker and then on to Belize City.  At the Caye Caulker dock, no one was getting up to get off; so I assumed everyone was waiting for the crew to tell us when to disembark.  And then the taxi started pulling away from the dock. Ooops, I assumed wrong.  I jumped up and made it known that I had missed my stop.     How embarrassing.  They crew mates were kind,  redocked, and helped me ashore.  

View of Caye Caulker from the
Belize Water Taxi Dock

And from the other side of the dock...

And then I walked onto Caye Caulker and realized why no one else got off.  It was too damn early in the morning for anything to be happening on that island. I had hoped to have an early lunch at Lazy Lizards, but there was just not enough happening in the town to keep me there for two hours.  So I did some quick math and figured that the next scheduled ferry back to San Pedro could not possibly be the same ferry (crew)   that got me here.  I could cut this trip short and  save myself having to face that same crew again today. And so I did.  The ferry from Caye Caulker to San Pedro was packed - and everyone disembarked at San Pedro - including yours truly.

Lesson #4:  I should attempt to understand water taxi protocol and island time before I make plans that include each.

Early morning at the Lazy Lizard

And finally, I have tried all week to take a beach selfie - just in case someone back in Ohio wants proof that I really was in Belize the last 10 days.  I am not photogenic. I am happy to be here, really - despite what my face is saying in these pics.  Believe me, these are the best of them..

Happy to be in Belize!

Lesson #5: I do not need smiling pictures of myself to prove to myself (or anyone else) that I had a great time in Belize.

Focus on the sunrise...

I've learned my lessons.

Disclaimer: I started writing this last night, but am finishing  now as I am drinking my coffee on the porch, enjoying the morning sky through a light rain...




Much love, from Belize....

I'm on Island Time...

Yesterday morning I woke up bright and early intending to walk to town for breakfast at Estel's.  A quick look at the weather forecast made me rethink that adventure. I opted for a quick walk along the beach instead.


Breakfast was self-made - eggs and a bagel with coffee - and enjoyed on my patio.

Once the rains cleared a bit, I made my way to the pool bar for my morning dose of Mimosa.

I headed inside when the rains returned,  and actually did a little bit of studying for a Project Management Certification I am hoping to test for in a few months. Studying  seemed a better option than watching the Browns lose.


The skies cleared a bit again  again just in time for lunch at the pool bar at the tail end of happy hour.  I held myself to one Long Island Iced Tea with a Mozzarella Shrimp Sandwich. Even one LI kept me feeling good for a couple hours.

There's a bird in this photo - doing a happy dance.

Not so good that I did not feel the bugs biting on an attempted beach walk.  I actually had to leave the beach path and walk along the road because my dance skills are not enough to make constant smacking at mosquitoes and flies appear graceful.

All in all it was a lazy Sunday.


This morning, I did get up early and walk to town.   I had a shrimp omelet with fruit and fryjacks and, of course, a tall Mimosa, at Estel's Dine By The Sea! It was as awesome as I remembered from my last visit. I sat at a table on the beach and enjoyed looking out over the Sea.

The beach at the North end of town

The view from my table at Estel's

I shopped for an hour in town but still had an hour before the 10:30 water taxi back to Grand Caribe.  So I stopped in and visited with Eduardo at the famous Fido's.  Eduardo made me a Bloody Mary just the way I like it - vodka and V-8 and olives - that's it.  No spice...at all. I am a wimp, but I know what  I like. I took a picture at Fido's, or so I thought.  Apparently the Bloody Mary kicked in and the photo I thought I took was a short video of the steps leading from Fido's to the beach.

Back at Grand Caribe, I spent sometime in the lap pool before the rains returned.  

And then I napped, because that walk to town wore me out today.

I intended to revisit the Truck Stop for dinner, but apparently they take Mondays off. So dinner was a lobster quesadilla and a couple of Belikins from the pool bar.


And that's my story  - from my dining room table in Grand Caribe, Ambergris Caye, Belize, CA.

Happy Hour has that affect on me..in Belize...

Yesterday morning started out with a goal of finding  Marbucks Coffee House, I had seen signs pointing from the beach and from the road but was not quite sure where (in between the road and the beach) it could be.  Yesterday, I decided to quit being wimpy and follow the signs. Apparently, there is a road in between the main road and the beach, which I should have remembered from my last visit. It was the less bumpy road Larry took because the unpaved main road was full of ruts.

Breakfast at Marbucks Coffee House

The adventure was worth it.  I enjoyed a delicious breakfast bagel sandwich with coffee and decided that I now have another beach breakfast option.

View from the Boca Del Rio Bridge

I then took a walk (all the way) into town.  I followed the main road to the Boca Del Rio Bridge. After the bridge, I took a left to the beach and followed the beach to the town square.  






From Grand Caribe to the town square it is about 2 miles  - two hot, sweaty miles.  I walked around the square a bit and then hopped the water taxi back to Grand Caribe's dock.

I might should have stopped at 1 LI...

I did a few laps in the pool and then heard happy hour calling from the pool bar.  And what a happy hour it was.  A lobster quesadilla and two long island ice teas later and I was feeling no pain the rest of the day and into the night.  Who knew happy hour Long Islands could be so strong?  

Stella's in the morning

First thing this morning I headed to Stella's Smile Wine bar. Margo told me about Stella's and their bottomless Sangrias.  It is a fairly new place about a quarter of a mile south of Grand Caribe. In addition to the bottomless Sangria in the evenings, they offer a bottomless Mimosa on weekend mornings.  What better way to get over a Long Island hangover than imbibing in a few mimosas?  Oh, and their crepes are pretty awesome,  too. I enjoyed a lobster crepe because, when in Belizin in lobster season, I try to take advantage.







After breakfast, I took another walk into town.  I did a little shopping before returning  via  water taxi. 

Stella's in the evening...

A few laps in the pool and back to Stella's to try the famous pizza night with bottomless Sangria.  I opted for the white pizza with shrimp topping.  It was sooooo good.  I have enough for lunch tomorrow  - or maybe a late night snack tonight because I am getting hungry thinking about it sitting in the fridge. 

After I asked for a box for my leftovers, the staff moved a chair to their dock so I could continue to enjoy my bottomless Sangrias and a good view of the lagoon.  And, a few Sangrias later, when  I was ready to leave, they poured one for the road. Bottomless really is bottomless at Stella's

On a sad note, I am missing the tree trimming party happening tonight  at my son's place back in Ohio; I do love a tree trimming party when it is not my tree to trim.  But on the flip side, I am in Belize.  


Disclaimer: There may be typos, misspellings, bad grammar in this post- it's the Sangria doing the writing.

Belize me....

I started  writing this while sipping on a Mimosa at the pool bar this morning.  But then breakfast came and got in the way. I could get use to this life.

Yesterday, I started the day with a walk North along the beach.

I thought I might make all the way to the bridge leading to town,but about 3/4th of the way, I realized I should have eaten something before I started out. So, back to the pool bar for breakfast and a not-spicy Bloody Mary that ended up being hot n spicy.  

My Favorite Lap Pool

After breakfast and a few laps in my favorite lap pool, I hitched a ride to town with David, during his lunch break.










I walked around town a bit, visited a couple of gift shops and a few landmarks I remembered from my last visit, and then took the water taxi back to Grand Caribe. I hope to get back into town at least once this visit to dine at Estel's Dine by the Sea and take the ferry to Caye Caulker.


This morning, I woke up feeling under the weather.  My head does not like the Belizean humidity any more  than it likes the Ohio humidity.  So after my morning walk, poolside breakfast, and a few water-walking laps, I gave in and took a couple hour nap. I hate wasting  daylight napping, but the clouds and rain made the guilt a little easier to handle.

I opted for the naturally mild Mimosa this morning!

When I woke up, the clouds were still lingering, outside and in my head.  It was not raining so I took a walk to the truck stop for dinner.  I enjoyed Shrimp Diablo and a Beliken on their deck overlooking the lagoon.









It started to rain a bit on my walk back - just enough to create a beautiful rainbow.





And now my head is hurting again, so I am going to  see what I can do to make it stop.  I want to feel like walking to  Marbucks coffee house in the morning.

A perfect vacation day...

I did not get up early this morning.

I did not go for a morning walk, but instead enjoyed coffee and a toasted  bagel  on my porch.

I did spend a lot of time lounging by the pool - until the dark clouds brought showers early this afternoon.  I took the showers as a sign that I should take a nap - and so I did.

I did manage to get in an afternoon walk along the beach.

 I returned to find this guy welcoming me back to Grand Caribe...

...pointing me to the pool bar where they serve those awesome shrimp and mozzarella sandwiches and  funky monkey umbrella drinks:)

Ah yes, a perfect vacation day!

Outtakes from Belize - Part One

In case you have missed my blog...it's back...

What brings it back?

Well, I am on a much needed vacation in Belize and having a totally relaxing and awesome time.

But.....

I am too cheap to pay for International Cellular service so I cannot post to FB like I usually do when I am out and about doing something fun or wanting to share an opinion or two or three.  (Which is all good, because, honestly, I do stop whatever I am doing to share to FB a lil too much when it is readily available.)

And another but....

I expect  the sun to shine longer in warmer weather.  The Belizean sun does not live up to my expectations - it gets dark here just as early as it does back home:( 

And then there's the mosquitoes - lots and lots of mosquitoes - OMG!!!  American mosquitoes do not bother me so much, but these Belizean mosquitoes - they love me tooo much. Tho after retreating indoors and downing a couple of benadryl tabs - all is well.

Rest assured, I am not complaining - just explaining why my blog is back.  Rather than waste parts of my days FBing,   I have decided to try to just post my adventures once each evening after the sun stops shining and the mosquitoes start biting.  (Maybe I can carry this practice back to the States with me.   Ok, probably not - who am I kidding?)

This morning, I walked along the beach to AKBOL for a delicious beachside breakfast of coffee with a ham and cheese fryjack. I was tempted to sign up for the free morning yoga class, but  then I remembered how much I do not like to sweat, so I opted for water walking back at the Grand Caribe lap pool - no class needed:)

Then I sat by the beach for a bit before water-walking  a
few more laps.














The best part of the day so far was the long walk north along the beach 

past Captain Morgan's. I definitely reached my step goal today.

Along the way, I met this guy...

and  revisited this tree...

And then,  back at Grand Caribe, I made myself a tuna steak and enjoyed a beer on the porch.

Now I am thinking of heading over to Rain and having another beer or two...

Cheers!

Romantic as Hell, Funny as Hell...

Romantic as what????

Oh hell, yes.

When I first started blogging a few years ago, I somehow happened upon this...at http://www.midgetmanofsteel.com/

Yeah, that.

Moooooog35 is irreverent, to say the least. And something in the reformed Catholic girl that I am loved it and could not get enough of it. I caught up on previous posts and continued to look forward to his daily bits of mental poo.

Back to the present, my life has been a little hectic lately - filled with work and grand puppies and a new grandbaby and kids planning weddings and relocations and on and on - everything except romance.

But that is about to change, because of this:

Moooooog35 (aka Rodney Lacroix) writes books, too.   For months Rodney has claimed that his latest masterpiece contains some of the best romance advice of all time ...

Which may or may not be true...

It seems that snorting, lauging out loud, choking from laughing out loud, farting and/or peeing your pants in public (even if from laughing out loud) tends to counteract any chance of a romantic encounter.

Who knew????

I do know that this book is full of tried and tested (you really did that???) hilarious do's and don'ts for initiating, holding together, and  maintaining a relationship.

The how - to lessons begin with a a couple of teenage horror stories (the don'ts), and continue through a few steady relationships, a few proposals, a marriage, a divorce, post divorce on-line dating, and a second marriage (with kids and step-kids).  

Seriously, no matter where you are in life, there is something in this book for you - something to laugh at, or cry about, or to be embarrassed for Rodney about. You may even learn a thing or two. 

I found a few ideas to try on my next husband, assuming the relationship initiation ideas actually work well enough to  get me a date that turns into a few dates that lead to a steady relationship that ends in a proposal in the not-to-distant future. That is a lot of assumption, I know.  But I have faith in Rodney.

If you prefer a little theatre with your humor, Rodney provides that as well.  I am not sure why, but he felt the need to treat each chapter as an Act  -  complete with an an opening scene.  Whatever, Rodney.  I could have done without that, but I am an just one reader among thousands. I am sure a few hundred others are loving it...

And just to make sure you are grasping the main ideas, Rodney  provides a Progress Checklist at the end of each act.

I have now completed all eight  checklists and am ready to embark on a romantic adventure of my own - to test my real-life understanding of Rodney's lessons. 

Wish me luck.

While I am doing that,  I challenge you to pick Rodney's brain (or better yet read his book) and learn to " make your relationship a little more squishy in the heart parts" because " squishy hearts lead to harder other things on the regular."  Yeah, those are Rodney's words, not mine.  

Let me get you started.   Follow the links below to Amazon or Barnes and  Noble.

Romantic as Hell  Paperback: Amazon

Romantic as Hell  Kindle: Amazon

Romantic as Hell Paperback B&N

After reading Romantic as Hell, I am pretty sure you will want more Rodney.   Lucky for you, there is more. He has two previous books:  "Things Go Wrong for Me"  and "Perhaps I've Said Too Much." Take my word for it, if you like funny, they are both worth the read.

You can purchase all three of Rodney's books in all formats, including autographed copies, at Rodney Lacroix  or at R C G Publishing.

Enjoy!

Words of encouragement...

I am making myself walk this morning around the neighborhood. ..

...despite the heat.

...despite not feeling so great.

....despite feeling grubby - why shower before I sweat?

...while listening to Meatloaf:)

A neighbor who I had not met before stopped me to offer words of encouragement...

She encouraged me to keep it up. She told me how she dropped from a size 20-22 to 10-12 over the last 5 years just by making healthier choices...not killing herself:)

And she looked close to my age...

So glad I took this morning walk...

Kudos to you, Betsy.  Thanks for the kind words.

Sleep is not always a good thing....

My head does not seem to get along with the summer heat -at all.

Damn head...what is  not to love about summer?

This morning, unwilling to heed my head's low warning, I ventured into thegreat outdoors  to run some errands.   I planned to end the errand run with a nice long walk  in the park (since there are no beaches close by). But my head would have none of it...

By late afternoon, the low warning was a blasting fog horn.

So I laid down for a bit, thinking that might help.

NOT...GRRR....

I fell asleep and woke up two hours later...

My head hurts worse...

And the dreams I am remembering...ugh!  I am afraid to write about them for fear they will come true.

I am sitting here crying.

Partly because of the dreams but mostly because of the Vick's vapo-rub face mask I have applied.

I think Mrs. Grass may be hiding in my cupboard.  I am going to coax her out and team her up with Vick to beat the hurt out of my head.

Results to follow...

Excitement Overload

So much going on in my life this week...

My youngest started a new job Monday doing what he does best - convincing people to do things for themselves. 

My oldest proposed to the love of his life and she said "yes" :)

My daughter and son-in-law are expecting my first grandchild  (a boy) any day now:)

New jobs, engagements, and babies....oh my:)

#lovewins

Yesterday SCOTUS got it right IMHO.

I was saddened to see so many hateful and negative posts on social media.

The self-righteous posts angered me the most - especially those from people citing the word of their god.

These posts strengthened my belief that we need to teach our children and grandchildren to think for themselves.

I could go on and on here, but I won't.

Because this morning I woke to posts of pictures of rainbows all across the country...

And news of friends getting married....

Love wins!

Giving Back

I love when I hear about regular people sharing their talents with their community. I do know a lot of people who do that. I decided I wanted to use this blog to share some of their stories.

Today, I bring you Jim, technical writer by day, movie producer by NightWine.

I have been meaning to share Jim's story for a few weeks now, but I have been too self-absorbed in my own life to actually do so.

Seriously, when I see this guy at work, I think about how I want to write a blog post or at least share some info about his awesome project.

And then I leave work, and I forget about Jim...until I  see him the next day.  

And then I feel like an idiot because I realize I forgot to write a blog post.

And then I leave work and the cycle repeats.

The cycle is not about Jim, tho.  When I leave work, I try to leave everything about work at work.  Obviously, I am getting pretty good at it.  Too bad for Jim.

But, back to Jim's story.  

Jim freelances as owner of NightWine, a video production company. Check out the company's services, including the JimboTron at www.nwntv.com.

The story I really want to share is about Jim giving students at Rootstown High the opportunity to be a part of a movie.    Jim learned that the school drama department did not have the resources to put on a play this year, so Jim worked a deal with the school to produce a movie.  

How cool is that?

Jim has put in long hours (after he puts in long hours at his day job) to write, cast, film, edit, re-film, etc., etc.

I love hearing his stories after long nights of filming.  You can see some of the behind-the-scenes action on his site.

He has also worked with a local theatre to have a world premier showing in early June, with red carpet treatment for the cast. 

Again, how cool is that?

Jim has worked with community sponsors to make this all happen.

I am proud to know Jim.  And I hope this blog post earns me the right to purchase a ticket or two to the world premiere of Zombie High.

Prepare to be eaten!

Who knew?

I learned a couple of things this week....

• Pre-gaming is the way to go before company sponsored social events.
  
  
• When  given two free drink tickets at the door of a company sponsored social event,  each of them can be exchanged for one item, including a pitcher of beer...

Good times...

Like a kid in a candy store...

My weekend started with an awesome surprise.  

Larry and Margo and Guy are visiting from Belize for a month.

And I had no idea they were coming in....they were not supposed to be back til mid-July

In hindsight, I should have guessed they were coming in sooner.  Gary has been doing a lot of things for Larry to get his place ready for their "July" visit.  Yes, I am clueless at times.

Saturday, I joined Larry and Margo for a shopping trip. It was the most fun I have had shopping for awhile. Having lived on a tropical island for the past six months really made them appreciate the one-stop venue that is Target. 

Larry:  Mom, come quick.  Look at this. (He was staring at peanut butter.)

Me: Yeah....

Larry: Look at all the choices.  In Belize, there are maybe two choices, and one is expired. And they have Citrus Flavored Red Bull.  I love that stuff.

So much has changed in the six months since they left for Belize.  Larry's office space was converted to an apartment which he now shares with his brother when he is in own. And, more importantly, there is an App to order Sheetz from his  phone.   

And some things haven't changed. He can order Papa John's as often as he likes.  And the Internet is lightning fast ...or so it seems, after dealing with Belizean speeds.

So for a few weeks, Larry and Margo will rekindle their love of American consumerism and spend some time with family and friends.  And we will get to spend some time with them.

As much as I appreciate that all 3 of my kids have an entrepreneurial and adventurous spirit that sometimes takes them to other cities, states, and countries, I do love when they are all in town.

I will try not to be too much of a pest the next few weeks.

What doesn't kill you...

The following information has been shared on Facebook more times than I can count in the last week.   

People Who Eat Steak Well-Done Don't Just Have Bad Taste, They're Also Going To Die

In celebration of this proclamation, I went out to dinner with a friend last night and ordered a steak  - medium rare.  Talk about heaven...

And today, from another articled shared on Facebook, I learned that eating bacon may prolong my life.

NEW STUDY CLAIMS EATING BACON MAY PROLONG YOUR LIFE

I think it is time for a bacon wrapped filet. 

Right now...

Before another study is shared claiming how bad bacon and rare steak may be for me.

April's Fool

My gullibility  has no bounds...

Seriously. ..

Once bitten, twice shy?  Not this girl.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me  twice, shame on me?   Fool me ten times - who's counting?

Tell me you want me - I believe.  Ooops, you were just kidding???

Tell the world how well you are doing; tell me it is not at someone else's expense; tell me you have changed your ways - I  believe.  Ooops, it doesn't  count because you think it is owed to you????

Tell me the job was created for me; tell me I am the most qualified - I believe. Ooops, the qualifications have changed???

Tell me there is a place for me in your heart, in your life, in your world - I believe.  Ooops, that place was temporary???

I believed because I wanted to believe.

I am the fool of fools.

Post pics of great whites in the sea near Belize - I am not sure I  believe. 

I do not want to believe.  I was swimming in those waters not too long ago - I call photo shopped.

Yes!  Look at me not believing...

I am through believing.

Ha!  Your love has bounds...

Ha! Your gains are ill-gotten...

Ha!  I do not want your job...

Ha! I will not be your fool.

Starting tomorrow.

Today may prove a little difficult.